


Rules of the Heart

by maej26



Category: Monday Night RAW - Fandom, Professional Wrestling, Sports Entertainment, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, wrestling - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maej26/pseuds/maej26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike and Alex decide to be fuck buddies but it doesn't go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story was banned from FFN back in 2012 because apparently you can't mention "fuck buddies" in the description *exaggerated eye roll* or write about fucking. Okayyyy, because they're not adults or anything.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!

Alex and Mike are sitting opposite each other at the round table in Alex's hotel room. Most of the time it's Mike who comes to visit Alex and they just hang out for hours before the show and it's not out of boredom. It's something else.

A couple months ago, the two were complaining about how they never get to fuck their girlfriends because they travel so much and then the conversation took an unexpected turn when Mike suggested that they should be fuck buddies. Luckily for Mike, Alex had a crush on him since they first met so his suggestion wasn't met with a punch in the face. Unfortunately, Alex knew this kind of arrangement with Mike would be detrimental to his heart since he knew the guy didn't have feelings for him. So, his first inclination was to turn him down and they'd brush it off as a misconstrued joke.

Unbeknownst to Alex, Mike had always been curious about what it would be like to have sex with a man but he never seriously considered it until he met Alex. There was just something about him that he was drawn to, something he couldn't quite figure out. He kept that secret buried deep within himself to the point where he was able to convince himself that having sex with Alex would be for the sole purpose of relieving stress, nothing more, nothing less. So, Mike proceeded to methodically list off all the reasons they should agree to the idea, as if he were listing off items to buy at the grocery store, and Alex just sat back perplexed and shocked as to how much time Mike must have spent actually thinking about this. It didn't take long for him to realize this might be his only chance to be with Mike and maybe it could even help him get over the guy. He was also afraid that Mike might take the offer to someone else in the company and he sure as hell wasn't about to let that happen. As Mike rambled on, Alex wondered how he could possibly say yes without revealing his feelings for the guy. He soon recognized that Mike was in his own little world and might never notice how _he_ was noticing _him_ so he agreed and he was right. Mike was just happy he got his way, didn't even think twice about _why_ Alex would want this too.

Before they left each other that night, Mike came up with some _ingenious_ rules. He decided that they would never discuss their arrangement, they'd never face each other while fucking or spend the night afterwards and they most certainly would never kiss or show any kind of affection because in Mike's mind, that would make them gay and since he suppressed his true feelings, it was easy to believe that sex with Alex was just sex. His sexuality had nothing to do with it. Besides, he was dating Maryse, a fiercely sexy woman, so there's no way he could be gay. He didn't even entertain the possibility of being bi since Alex was really the only man he's ever been attracted to.

The first time was incredibly awkward since neither man had been with another man before. They each took turns and tried different positions. It was painful and weird the first few tries but they soon got the hang of it and it quickly became their favorite activity. They even enjoyed being with each other more than their girlfriends, though they didn't dare tell each other that. They fucked each other every night they could - sessions lasting hours some nights. A lot of the time Alex would purposefully stretch out his staying power to make his time with Mike last as long as he could and Mike didn't mind because Alex was incredibly accurate, delivering punch after punch of pleasure to him. Alex was his own personal drug and Mike was irrevocably lost to his addiction. Unfortunately for Mike, he deluded himself into thinking this would be enough and so he was happy with the situation, never aware of all he was missing out on because of his _rules_.

Alex, on the other hand, wanted so much more. He loved Mike and there was nothing he could do to stop loving him. Even in spite of the guy's selfishness, Alex had nothing but love for him and wanted to express that love in every way. He even broke up with his girlfriend, only wanted to give himself to Mike and he did give everything he had to the man - everything he was _allowed_ to give. Alex didn't think what he wanted in return was too much to ask for but apparently it was and it made him sad. Every night this sadness built up until it exploded inside of him and he knew he couldn't spend another night with Mike until he let it out. And even then, he realized it would most likely be the end of their arrangement and perhaps even the end of their friendship.

So, now they're sitting across from each other at the round table in Alex's hotel room. Mike texting on his cell phone, secretly content just to be sitting next to Alex, even though he'll never admit to it, not even to himself. And Alex just stares at his lover, admires him, wishes he was allowed to tell him how beautiful he is.

"I'd treat you good, Mike," Alex breaks the silence assertively and he even manages to surprise himself with how blunt he is.

"What do you mean?" Mike asks, still looking down at his phone but he isn't texting anymore.

"You know, if you wanted something more." Alex wants to be clear with his intentions but he doesn't want to scare the guy off, especially since he's breaking one of Mike's rules. He notices that Mike's breathing has quickened, his chest rising and falling faster than it was a few seconds ago, his cheeks turning pink. He loves it when Mike blushes, hates making him uncomfortable though.

"I don't want anything more," Mike states, trying to act as if he's not affected by Alex's offer. "What we have is working just fine." He scrolls through his phone, doesn't even know what he's looking for, just wants to look busy and uninterested in what Alex is trying to do. It's silent for a few seconds, the tension building up in the room, the air growing heavy and it pushes down and around Mike squeezing him until he's finally had enough. He places his phone on the table, looks up at Alex very annoyed. "Are you trying to say that you want something more?"

Alex is nervous but he can't back down now. "Maybe."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mike snaps and he sits forward in his chair. "The whole point of doing this with you was because I knew you wouldn't become emotionally attached to me." Mike lies, almost against his will, needs to maintain the facade. He watches as Alex lowers his head and it dons on him. "Fuck," he breathes, almost can't believe it could be true. "If you tell me you're in love with me, I'll kick your fucking ass."

Alex's cheeks grow warm despite his desperate need for them not to.

"And when the fuck did this happen?"

Alex rubs his hand over his face trying to wipe the embarrassment away but it only exacerbates the problem. Almost feels like he could cry because he's about to lose _everything_. He looks up to Mike, ready to confess but stops when he sees Mike shake his head.

"Don't fucking say it," warns Mike and it's mostly because he's afraid of the guilt that would rain down on him if his assumption is correct.

"It was _before_ ," Alex says hesitantly, a tinge of shame wrapping around each word.

Mike feels his chest tighten, finds it hard to breathe. It all just hurts too much so he resorts to what he does best. He deflects the whole thing back onto Alex, projects everything he's guilty of away from himself. "Fucking unbelievable. You were fucking using me?"

"It wasn't like that." Alex rises to his feet, feels disgusted at the possibility that Mike could really think that of him. "Besides, if anything, you were the one using me. You asked me of all people for a reason." He's not too sure throwing this back on Mike is in his best interest. Making Mike defensive never ends very well but he can't pretend like it's not what happened.

"Yeah, because you're supposed to be my best friend and I thought I could trust you!" Mike fires back, now standing in front of Alex.

"You _can_ trust me."

"No, apparently I can't. You've been lying to me for months. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Alex feels like he could wring Mike's neck for that but he refrains and uses his words instead. "Oh right, because it's always about you. I forgot. Who cares how it makes me feel. Who cares about what I want."

"I thought we wanted the same thing."

"I think we do," Alex counters bravely. "You're the one who comes over to _my_ room every night just to sit with me. There's something more happening here and you know it!"

Mike's so nervous now that he feels like he could crumble to the floor. His true feelings making their way up from the recesses of his heart but he fights them, he fights so hard. "There's a reason I don't look at you. There's a reason we don't kiss. You're confusing our friendship with our arrangement!"

"Right, so we can be best friends and fuck and you want me but you just don't want to be with me. Who does that?" Alex watches as Mike shakes his head. He's got one more inconvenient fact he could hit Mike with but isn't sure he should. Then without debating further, he decides to just get it all out. "And why'd you break up with Maryse?"

Mike's eyes grow wide with anger; with fear that Alex really does see straight through him. Then he grows weak, it's getting harder to fight now.

"I can't believe you're doing this. You're ruining everything."

Alex sees how sad this is making Mike, like the guy is losing something and this gives him hope that he's right – that Mike does feel more than he's willing to admit. "I'm just…I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I'm trying to make it better," Alex offers, wishing Mike would just see how much he cares. He steps closer to Mike, reaching for his shoulder. Just wants to hug him, let him know they'll figure this out but Mike pushes him back, swiping his hand away from him.

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" Mike yells and turns to leave.

"Mike, wait…" But Mike slams the door before Alex has a chance to say anything more.

**xxxx**

Alex is sitting on the edge of his bed setting the alarm on his phone for the next morning. He feels badly for the way his conversation with Mike ended earlier but he's relieved that he finally knows the truth. It's too hard for him to be so close to Mike and not be given the attention he craves, not be able to give Mike that kind of attention. He knows getting over the guy will be the hardest thing he'll ever have to do but he doesn't have a choice. He takes off his shirt and then his shoes, not sure if he wants to take a shower or just go to bed.

His thought process is interrupted when he hears a knock at the door. There's only one person that ever comes to see him this late. He looks out the peephole and sees Mike standing there, a scowl plastered across his face. For a second, Alex contemplates ignoring him but he can't. He opens the door and before he has a chance to speak, Mike's already pushing past him. It infuriates Alex how Mike always has to be in control of every situation.

"Come on in," Alex says sarcastically. He waits a second and then sighs. "What are you doing here, Mike? I thought you didn't want to see me anymore." Alex knows full well why Mike's back, the man just can't stay away from him. He wishes the guy would realize that for himself but Alex is tired and he almost doesn't have it in him for another round. Because of this, he decides to let Mike come up with any excuse he feels like spewing. He watches Mike as he paces the room. Finally, Mike stops and turns towards Alex.

"You really fucking hurt me."

Alex is just about speechless. Very rarely does Mike talk about how he feels so this seems to be some kind of breakthrough, he figures. Alex lowers his head, he knows this whole situation was wrong and his compliance only compounded the problem. "I know I shouldn't have agreed to this and when you suggested it, my first instinct was to say no," Alex concedes.

"So, why'd you agree to it then?" Mike snaps and it's almost as if he's demanding an answer from himself instead.

Alex sighs sharply. "Damn it, Mike, do I really have to say it?" Mike stares wide-eyed at Alex waiting for an adequate response to his question. Alex rolls his eyes, crosses his arms over his chest and then reluctantly continues. "I suppose there was a part of me that knew this was the only way I'd ever be close to you…in a way that I knew would never happen otherwise." Alex searches Mike's eyes, wonders if he should say more and then he does. "I don't know," he starts again, his voice quiet now like he's ashamed of his reasons. "Maybe there was an even smaller part of me that thought you'd end up feeling the same way I did."

This all rings too true for Mike and it shakes him to the core. "So that gives you the right to betray me?"

"That wasn't my intention and you know it!" Alex raises his voice. "And how did you manage to turn this around onto me? You were the one who wanted to do this in the first place! Was I supposed to just let you go fuck some other guy? Is it so wrong for me to want to be with you? After everything we've gone through? Everything we've experienced _together_?"

Mike huffs out of frustration. Doesn't understand why anyone, especially Alex of all people, would actually want to be with him. He realizes there's no way to win this fight so he backpedals. "This is ridiculous. We're just gonna forget today ever happened and go back to the way it was," Mike orders confidently.

"You don't make any sense. Why would you want-"

"Because it works. Because it's…"

"It's what?" Alex pushes.

"It's…" Mike stutters. "It works! So that's what we're going to do," Mike states emphatically.

Alex is stunned that Mike actually wants to go back to that, even when knowing what he now knows. Despite the temptation, Alex stands his ground and refuses the request. "It doesn't work for me, not anymore. Fuck that, it never worked for me. I want more. I want _you_! All of you," Alex pleads as he moves closer to Mike. Watches him shake his head angrily. "I want to be able hold you and wake up next to you and-"

"Oh, fuck you!" Mike lashes out, rams into Alex’s shoulder as he beelines for the door.

Alex rushes after the man and grabs him by the arm, spins him around violently. Their faces mere inches from one another and Alex wishes he was able to turn this fight around with a kiss and almost believes that he could.

"Let go of me!" Mike demands and tries to pull away but the stronger man's grip is too tight to break.

"Why can't you see it?" Alex challenges, almost feels sorry for the guy for being so blind to what's right in front of him.

"See what?" Mike growls, trying to shove Alex away; trying to shove his _feelings_ away.

Alex hesitates, reveals his sadness, his vulnerability. "See that we could have so much more," he offers sincerely. "You and I could have everything if you'd just let me love-"

"Stop it!" Mike yells, still tugging unsuccessfully. Alex thinks he notices a change in Mike's demeanor. Thinks he actually looks more scared than angry. _Is he crying?_ Alex wonders and it's at this point that Mike is finally able to break free and head for the door. As he reaches for the doorknob, Alex slams into him from behind, effectively pinning him against the door. He reaches out, grabs hold of Mike's hand to keep him from leaving. Attempts to hold it properly but Mike yanks his hand away.

"Fine, you win," the dominant man says sternly and without hesitation, he pulls Mike's shirt over his head, still leaning against him so he can't move. Reaches around to unbuckle his jeans, rubs his palms over Mike's dick as he tugs the stubborn man's pants and boxer briefs down, then lets gravity finish the job. He knows Mike doesn't want to leave now because he willingly kicks his shoes and clothes to the side. Alex takes off his own pants, chest still pressing firmly against Mike's back.

"Alex-"

"Shhhh," Alex interrupts, his breath hot on Mike's ear, his voice low and serious, "This is what you want, isn't it? Fucking for fucking's sake. No emotion, no feeling, remember?"

Alex kicks one of Mike's legs out slightly, widening his stance. He reaches down and firmly grabs both sides of Mike's bare ass, lifting him to his toes, which causes the guy to shudder. Then without any kind of warning and bypassing their usual routine, Alex enters him swiftly, faster than Mike's used to and the pain isn't what he's expecting either but he doesn't stop the man. Almost curious to see how far Alex is willing to go with whatever it is he thinks he's doing. Alex thrusts quickly, hardly allowing Mike time to catch his breath. Mike feels his erection grinding against the door and it's too rough on his dick. He groans as Alex pounds into him aggressively, digs his forehead against the door in an attempt to absorb the pain. Instinctively, Mike stands higher on his toes like he could escape somehow but Alex pulls him back down by his hips, driving into Mike as deep as he can. Mike grasps at the door, hits it with his fist. Rubs his face against the unforgiving barrier seeking some kind of comfort. He tries to contain himself but the relief he's been waiting for never arrives, it's as if Alex is deliberately trying to miss the mark.

"Fuck, Alex!" Mike cries out in desperation, his voice cracking. His body is tense and trembling and it vibrates straight through Alex in a way the man doesn't recognize. He can tell Mike's not enjoying this, not even a little bit and it makes him feel dirty that he would even resort to something like this. He's always been so gentle with Mike - even when they were rough, it was never _rough_ and they always took all the necessary precautions with each other to make the experience as satisfying as possible, _with Mike's given_ _rules of course_. There's a reason it's never been like this before and Alex wonders if Mike's starting to realize that now.

Alex begins to slow down the pace until it's no more than a gentle rocking back and forth but now he angles himself with precision. Mike sighs in relief, he brings his arm to the door, resting his forehead inside the crook of his elbow. Pants heavily as he wonders what Alex is doing because he knows he isn't finished yet.

Against his better judgment, Alex leans in and kisses Mike's left shoulder tenderly. Mike jerks his shoulder towards the door, away from Alex's lips but Alex defies him, leans in further and kisses him once more, this time closer to his neck. Mike twitches again, signaling Alex to stop showing affection. Then Alex places a soft kiss at the base of Mike's neck. Mike wants to move away again but this time he doesn't, still feels Alex moving behind him and he tries to focus on that sensation instead. Alex moves back down his shoulder, sucking on Mike's skin, tasting it for the first time. Mike can't help but feel the warmth of Alex's mouth and the pressure of his smooth tongue press against his already moist flesh and he begins to relax. Alex moves his mouth back towards Mike's neck. The reluctant man still tries to fight it but he's starting to forget why he should and this time he tilts his head, opening up his neck to allow Alex better access. His eyes close automatically when Alex nuzzles into him. When he traces his tongue over the throbbing vein in Mike's neck, Alex can feel how quickly the man's heart is beating and synchronizes his thrusts to the given tempo. Despite the fact that Alex maintains a steady rhythm behind Mike, the only thing he feels now, the only thing Mike focuses on, is the array of kisses adorning his neck. It doesn't take much longer until Mike tilts his head back into the man holding him and Alex is able to reach his jawline. He nibbles gently, his teeth scraping against rough stubble. Mike finally surrenders himself to Alex's persistence, he put up a good fight but it's just no use, not anymore. He reaches his hand back and runs his fingers through Alex's soft hair, leans back into the man, instead of relying on the door. Alex slows down again, never wants this to end.

"This is how it could be," Alex whispers into Mike's ear as he's wrapping his arms around Mike's chest and belly, holding him so close. Kisses him softly on his cheek and he isn't sure if it's dampened due to sweat or tears. Mike whimpers as he feels himself wrapped in Alex's strong embrace for the first time. He feels comforted - safer than he's ever felt with anyone - and it's this feeling that he always teetered on the edge of with Alex, he just was never sure exactly what it meant but now he knows. He's no longer sure why he pushed this away for so long or why he was so reluctant to let Alex in. Maybe he was just afraid to be the first one to admit this is what he really wanted. He doesn't linger on the thought very long, decides to commit himself to the moment instead. He arches back until his lips lightly brush past Alex's lips. Then Mike opens his mouth slightly, wanting more. Alex brings his hand up to hold the back of Mike's head, the other cradling his cheek guiding him into the kiss and when Alex takes full advantage of the moment, Mike slides off and turns around to face him. Wraps his arms around Alex as he's kissing him for the first time. Their hearts pounding against each other, their erections grinding past each other and Mike realizes his drug of choice is much more potent than he thought. His hands travel up and down Alex's body, feeling every ripple and groove of his muscles, grabs his ass, massages his thighs, wraps his arms around Alex fully, bringing him in close.

"You-" Mike manages between kisses.

"Hmmm?" Alex tries to ask but a sound is all he can muster. He moves down to kiss Mike's neck, giving him the opportunity to speak if that's what he's wanting to do.

"You taste so good," Mike breathes and Alex takes this as his cue to move back to Mike's inviting mouth. Thinks he's never enjoyed kissing so much in his life. The stimulation of Mike's dick against Alex is enough to finish him off but he pays Mike extra attention until he reaches his peak. At this point, Mike's not even thinking about sex anymore, he just wants to enjoy being with Alex in this new way.

Mike guides his lover over to the bed. Their feet trip over each other a few times and they giggle at their clumsiness. They collapse on the bed and when Alex settles in between Mike's muscular thighs he stops to look at his lover, wants to make sure this is real.

"You okay?" Alex asks thoughtfully.

It takes Mike a few seconds to answer, he's not delaying because he's not okay, he's just relieved to finally be able to look into Alex's eyes in this moment. Hates himself for denying this for so long. Hates himself for making those stupid rules and for making Alex suffer all this time thinking he was being used. He never even had any intention of going to anyone else with his offer. Alex was always his first and only choice and soon he'll tell him the whole truth. His eyes start to well up and he doesn't even try to hide it.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Mike nods, brings his hands up to caress Alex's face.

"Are you really here with me?" Alex asks giving Mike one more chance to rip it all away.

"I'm here," Mike reassures Alex. "I'm not going anywhere."

Alex smiles, thinks he's never been so happy in his life and when Mike returns the smile, he wonders where the limits of happiness lie. The two kiss and Mike brings Alex down into his arms, wants to hold him all through the night and every night. As he's closing his eyes, Mike makes a promise to Alex. He's not sure if the guy is still awake but he whispers it anyway. "To love you, to appreciate every second we spend together and to always be honest with you. These are my new rules."


End file.
